There is no denying that children are known to complete a marriage. What if the doctor tells you that your biological makeup cannot enable you to get pregnant? Does this mean the end of your happiness? Some communities view infertility as a curse. Such perceptions from people cause many childless people fall into depression. Being infertile should not determine your joy.
A study carried out in Keele University found that at least 38% of impotent men fall into depression as opposed to 27% of ladies. The high percentage of men is because a man feels complete when they can pass their gene to the next generation. Today, we will look at the relationship between childlessness and depression and tell you how you can cope better without necessarily bearing children.
Elements of depression caused by infertility
Most wives whose husbands are impotent suffer from loneliness. You may be living with your spouse, but the lack of communication may make you feel alone even when your partner is around. Some people isolate themselves from other family members, avoiding to attend family functions due to the emptiness they feel inside.
A doctor’s news may have shuttered your dreams of having kids. This makes many couples feel hopeless and stop believing in the existence of a supernatural being. Most men who get hopeless try to find their answers in alcohol and drugs.
Low self- esteem
Feeling inferior to other men is common in infertility. This situation worsens when a partner insinuates that you may be less of a man or woman. It causes arguments and fights in a family and makes many couples seek other partners to give them children.
Shame and embarrassment
The pressure from the society increases pity on a person who cannot bear children. The questions of when you are bringing children into the picture may leave you embarrassed since you cannot share your secret with everyone. Deep inside, you feel unwanted and ridiculed by an unsupportive partner and extended family members.
Some people develop resentment when they don’t know who to blame for their condition. Others regret previous actions that may have contributed to their childlessness. This elevates feelings of anger and depression. Such a person in that state of mind may isolate himself from his friends.
The stress from thoughts may affect your appetite levels and sleeping patterns. It causes insomnia in some people while others experience constant headaches. Some because fatigued and complain of body aches and nausea.
How do you cope with childlessness?
Talk about how you feel
No matter who is the cause, find ways to express how it affects you. Do not let those feelings of anger and frustration eat you up inside. Take some time to grieve as long as you can let it all out. Crying helps you feel better but do not let it be a regular thing. Some people prefer writing what they feel while others scream out their emotions.
If the situation is irreversible, accept the facts and learn how to learn how to move past it. Do not let this be the end of your marriage because you can still work things out. Appreciate the abundance in life rather than focusing on what is missing. Plan how you are going to move on with your partner without envisioning children in it. For instance, if you had made plans for a baby like decorating a room for them, transform it into a study room. This will help you not always remember the emptiness.
Instead of sulking from your friends, learn how to stay confident and move on as you seek assistance from healthy sources. Put behind your drinking habit caused by the depression by visiting Recovery Village Resources Colorado Springs. This facility will help you stop drug tolerance so that you can stop using harmful substances to relieve bitterness caused by the inability to conceive. Get a therapist you can discuss your emotions with so that they can help you develop positivity.
Connect with other couples who live happily without children. These can motivate you and make you see that your relationship can still blossom without children. It is not the time to disconnect with your religious beliefs. Seek counseling from church groups so that you eliminate hopelessness. You can also get support from close family members for them to help you cope with the grief.
Consider other options
Fortunately, options such as adoption and surrogacy have been provided for childless couples. In case you still desire children, talk to your spouse about adopting a child and find a good facility to start the proceedings. You can also enjoy your friend’s children by babysitting them once in a while. This will change your moods and give you hope. Volunteer to offer your services at an orphanage to work closely with children.
Connect with your partner
The lack of communication is what makes partners give up on each other. Instead of giving one another silent treatment, learn to talk openly with them as you listen to their side to understand their feelings. You can discuss strategies to make your relationship happy even without children. Take vacations and hikes together as you try to maintain a close relationship with them. Use this time for both of you to recover from the treatments that you may have undergone. Lay out everything on the table no matter how painful it may be and purpose to find common ground. This will help reduce the blame game between the two of you.
Do not neglect your physical health as you grieve. Ensure that you are spending enough time sleeping to reduce stress levels. Find someone to monitor your eating habits so that you don’t suffer malnutrition. Doing physical exercise and meditation also helps you relax as you distract your mind from ill thoughts.
Many married couples have survived without children. Draw your strength from such pairs so that you don’t leave a miserable, isolated life. In as much as children make one happy, childlessness does not have to be taken as a curse. Sometimes, people who don’t have children immediately end up giving birth after years. Do not lose hope for there is light at the end of the tunnel.